Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Where's the shut off valve for my brain?

It's spring and things are waking up. The trees are breaking out in their brand new leaves, the daffodils are waving to me from my front yard, and neighbours are poking their heads out from their front doors and joining the parade of new life that marches down the street. Unfortunately there is one thing that is still dead...my lawn. We haven't been able to turn on the irrigation yet, as we are waiting for a water pressure pump to be installed. You see, we live on a hill....with a verrry steep driveway....which means that we have a great view from our front porch, but it also means that we have zero water pressure. So, when we turn on our sprinklers, they spit a pathetically small amount of water onto the lawn, which in turn leaves us with big unsightly dead patches of grass that, by July, are crunchy and gross. This spring we finally caved in and ordered a water pressure system which should solve this problem. So this morning, James the Mighty Plumber arrived on our doorstep, tools in hand, to install said system. Yeah! However before he could begin we had to find the main shut off valve for the water to the house. Searching, searching....ah yes! That big metal thingy in the front yard! And down he went to turn it off.....not so simple. Apparently whoever installed it wanted to be really thorough and set it four feet under the ground. James digs. And digs. And finally finds the darn thing and shuts off the water. Sweet.
Which got me to thinking. Is there a shut off valve for my brain? Because lately I have been thinking a lot. Okay, I always think a lot. But lately I have been realizing how much I think. I live in my head a great deal. My thought life is intense, and complicated, and basically I am having a conversation with myself 24/7. Except for sleeping, but then I have these amazing complex dreams, so even then I don't get a break! A dear friend has been helping me learn how to find my shut off valve, even for a little while, so my heart has a chance to speak up. Because mostly, my heart can't get a word in edgewise with the ongoing monologue upstairs. And I am realizing that my heart has a lot to say. Important things, like how I might be feeling about all those things I am thinking about. And if I neglect my heart-speak, I find myself getting really tired, and frustrated, and distracted with all the brain-speak.
Breathe. Focus. Pause. Ask. Allow those heart matters to bubble up to the surface. Aaaah, that's better.
I am finding my shut off valve, a little bit every day. It's a good thing.

No comments: